Rejected
by Melikameli
Summary: If you love someone so much, you will let them go...unless you're as determined as Raph is. (Leoxfem!Raph) Tcest you have been warned.
1. Introductions (Raph's side)

Rejected  
Part One:  
Intoductions

Raph's P.O.V

I am in big trouble...and for the first time, I'm scared. Scared of facing Leo, scared of talking to him...and accidentally blurting out something I shouldn't.

And damn right I wanna see him now!  
You're probably asking why the hell do I wanna see him so badly,right?  
Why would I wanna face him when I did something so bad to him but still be craving to see him like he's my drug?

Oh, questions,questions,...  
Things I ask myself every day and yet, I don't know the certain answer to any of them.  
Or at least, the reason why my affection towards him increases with every day passing day?

Yes, you heard me right.  
I have feelings towards my brother...hmm...  
Cliche forbidden love scenario,huh?

As for the fact that when it started, think it did in our childhood...  
We were so close and the best of friends, did everything together.  
So close that I got angry whenever Leo spent time with Mikey or Donnie...and eventually got into a fight and ended up with a horrible punishment from Sensei.

But Leo always covered up for me, saying it was his fault and taking the blame.  
One of the reasons I began to love him more...  
Always taking the blame and never misjudging me... If I could just thank him enough...

Leo is well balanced,  
and a good leader,  
and a polite person,  
and a sweet and caring brother and...

The list can go on forever, perfect adjectives and qualities will fill it...but...  
those aren't the reasons I love him.

The reason I love him is...well...  
He's he...he has a good heart and sees good through people when there isn't any...  
has fate in me no matter how many mistakes I make...  
...and that's why I love him...but...

He's so...so...blind!  
How can't he notice the way I look at him?  
The way I adore him?  
The way I avoid fights with him?  
The way I smile whenever we are in the same room?

...they way I'm constantly and stupidly happy when I'm at his presence?

And I know why.  
Because of that goddamn ,no good daughter of shredder!  
He liked her from the first time he met her and had a tendency to think she is honourable and stuff like that...  
Yeah right!  
She used him and played with his heart!  
Even the thought of her makes my blood boil...grrr...  
He's in love with her.  
He keeps falling for her traps and stupid charms!  
He can deny it all he wants but he is.  
Every day, I try to reach out to him but its no use;  
he would smile and tell me it's nothing.  
Well, nothing my ass!

I can tell he's tried too much to deny it, forget it,...  
and yet he still does!  
I clearly have no idea what dies he see in her ...she's bad, was and will be!  
And even if she wasn't constantly fighting us, Leo still wouldn't have a chance cause of shredder's little geekboy...  
...well not that I'm complaining here!

You know what? I'm done with this stupid drama crap!  
I won't stay here like a fool and watch as someone comes and takes him away from me,  
I swear that won't happen.  
Ever.


	2. Introductions (Leo's side)

Rejected:

Part two:

Hopeless

Leo's P.O.V

What is the problem with her?

I mean seriously?! One minute we were enjoying our usual sparring sessions and the other Raph was at the edge of killing me!..and it doesn't help when I think of the main reason, cause there isn't .

Was it because I defeated her?

Was it because Mikey made fun of her again?

Was it because Sensei scolded her for her lack of concentration?

Or...

I think not.

Come to think of it, she's been acting wierd lately.

She is less eager to spar with me.

She refuses to go out playing vigilantly with Casey.

She refuses to beat his punching bag.

And she refuses to chase Mikey... I wonder why?

The only thing she does, is sitting still on the couch and staring at nowhere, dozing off with a heartbroken expression on her face.

What's she thinking about?

God these questions are killing me!

Why does she have to be such an enigma all the the time?

At least she is to me.

I sigh as I snap out of my usual meditating pose. Meditating should calm me, but guess it's not working today. Not when it comes to her.

Looking at nowhere in particular, my thoughts drift to a certain female enemy of ours.

Karai.

How long has it been since I saw her?

Is she fine?

Is she training as always?

When will I see her again?

Is she still that pretty...oh I hope she is...

No Leo stop!

She's your enemy and you crushing like this would seriously hurt you...

Would it?

I mean if not her, who would I end up with?

Humans could never accept us anyways...would they?

Would they do anything besides screaming from the sight of us?

I think not.

Back to Raph...I still can't figure out why she was angry?

Oh Raph, what am I gonna do with you?

.

.

.

Things went better when we were kids. We were the best of friends and did everything together,and he always gave me a challenge, like...

...something to look forward to, a motivation to live and keep myself going.

She might not know it but she is the chain that keeps me sane and ...

...but I'd never admit that to her.

Oh I'd never figure out the reason of his sudden frustration if I keep going like this...

I need to talk to her

Big time.


	3. Revelation

Rejected

Part Three:

The Revelation

Raph's P.O.V

Breathing slowly, I tried to calm myself as I heard Leo's footsteps approaching my door.

It's time.

Rethinking my past memories, I've never been so scared to see him.

I was always the rebel and somehow, I liked to think that he was scared of me...

Yeah right.

He probably sees me as his extra leader burden he has to carry...always that and nothing more...

"We need to talk Raph"

I heard my big brother say.

I was probably too deep in my thoughts to notice him, leaning against the door with the expression that didn't seem too pleasant.

"I know"

I replied in a very low voice of mine.

I didn't even trust it myself.

I watched him walk up to me and finally sitting on the bed, eying me carefully.

This is gonna be hard.

"I really don't get it"

Although I perfectly knew what he meant I still said:

"What exactly?"

He lifted his hanged head to glare at me heatedly:

"You know perfectly what I mean. Why did you get so out of hand ?"

Oh this was getting intense too soon ..,.

"I don't know..."

I felt so pathetic and weak for giving him an answer like that...

"YES YOU DO! YOU NEVER GET SO ANGRY SO WHY?!"

Oh wow he exploded sooner than I thought...

It always takes him more than at least twenty minutes to start yelling when he's talking to me...

"I only got angry because..."

I couldn't tell him I wasn't ready to face rejection.

I don't think I'll ever get that much courage...

to contain that much heartbreak ...

"Because what?!"

His patience was wearing thin...

If I didn't give him a vague answer soon the he won't talk to me foe a long time, probably avoid me ...

I need to come up with an acceptable excuse, and fast!

Think Raph, think!

If you don't you'll mess up your life so badly...

"Because..."

"No ! Don't give me that same excuse cause I know you're making it up!

.Now!"

Okay, now I was furious!

How dare he shouted at me like that?

I wasn't surely his little good obedient servant!

I don't have to give answers to nobody!

" I was furious cause you're too fucking stupid to realize that I'm in love with you and that bitch karai doesn't-"

I slapped my hands over my own mouth before, I could finish it...but it was too late.

It's like I signed my own death wish...

I looked at his normally calm face with horror, it was filed with anger, confusion, disgust and...

Hatred.

Hatred just meant for me. Me, me, me!

"Raphaella Hamato, you are one sick bastard."

Sent me one last heart piercing glare,

and he left.

He left me alone, in the dark,

letting me cry in the darkest corner of my room...

In the sewers of New York City sits a heart broken turtle only to cry by herself ...

Because she knows that she will never get her heart to calm down.

A/N: Poor Raph... Don't worry you'll get your revenge on Karai soon enough!

Review please!


	4. Jelousy

Rejected

Part Four:

Jelousy

Raph's P.O.V

I yawned as I stretched my stiff limbs out.

My head hurt like shell, and it felt like...oh.

Leo ,fight ,rejection...

They all hit me like an anvil to the head when I remembered them.

You know, somehow I felt relieved that I told him...a burden was lifted from my shoulders and my mind wasn't as occupied as before .

But...

It was replaced with a shaky feeling in my whole being and a numbness I couldn't explain.

How would I face him today?

How can I look straight into his eyes, after last night...?

How would he treat me?

There's only one way to find out...

Walking carefully I made my way to the kitchen, catching Mikey cooking breakfast for us.

Maybe I'll have to distract myself from the pain...

"Morning Dude! Slept well?"

she said in her always cheerful tons.

"Guess so"

I replied calmly.

I waited till the rest of my family came in and took their usual seats, greeting me.

All except Leo.

I pretended I didn't care, and I was extra careful not to make any eye contact with him,oh how I wish...

"Ahem"

I looked up to see Sensei with a stern look on his face, clearly wanting to make an announcement.

"We have special guests today"

Special? As if Usagi's coming over again or-

"I have talked with Leonardo and confirmed that miss Karai and Chaplin are no longer a threat to us and they will be coming in order to help us defeat the shredder once and for all-"

His rambling was cut short when I choked on the pancake in my loudly I finally swallowed and, faced sensei that now had a hard glare on his face. Okay, what did I do now?!

"And you, Raphaella, you will have to make sure you won't cause any trouble while they are here"

I frowned. I'm not a little kid I know how to behave myself!

"I'm perfectly capable of controlling my temper Sensei and you no longer have to treat me like a little kid!"

I said angrily, leaving the room immediately.

'It's all your fucking fault Leo!'

I tried hard to remain my composer when Leo stared at Karai in that way...god he's a fucking idiot!

There we were, sitting in the living room area and planning what to do. Sensei even invited April and Casey.I tried hard not to yawn when Leo started talking about strategies again. Is he boring or what?!

But again, his voice is so soft and amazing I'd love to listen to him all day, even if I have no idea what's he talking about...oh here we go again...

"I think it's best for us to go on patrol for now, so we can have some exercise" Leo finished and I snapped out of my 'Dream Zone'.

I observed Karai giving Leo a sly smile of agreement and Leo blushing in return.

Then it happened.

I felt blood boiling in my veins and the sudden urge to crush Karai like my punching bag. That woman really manages to get under my skin or what?!

Every ones attention turned to me, as I realized I released a deep growl.

"What did I tell you my daughter? You should-"

"I'M FINE!"

I exploded with rage as I spoke.

Suddenly my gaze fell on Leo's and I saw something in his eyes.

Disappointment.

My heart stopped, filling with sadness and pain as tears started to sting my eyes.

I gulped the heavy lump in my throat as I tried my best not to remember last night's events.

No such luck.

Again, I tried my best and took a few deep breath to calm myself down. I probably didn't need another lecture of anger management and mostly another disappointed look from Leo.

Jumping on the random rooftops I let the wind run past my long black hair. New York City might be very violent and dangerous, but I love it just like that.

'But not as much as Leo though ...'

Stupid considence.

"We need to split up"

We all stopped running and waited to hear him out.

"Karai you go with me, Mikey you're with April and Chaplin with Raph."

What?!

Woah woah woah, since when he doesn't team me up with himself?

Doesn't he know that I might jump into fights an-

"You've got a problem Raph?" I look at him confused, finally realising I was sending Karai a death glare.

Oh so you're worried about her fragile feelings, aren't you?!

"No, everything's just fine" I hiss at him and his fucking 'Ignorance Strategy' to me. Turning around I leave with Chaplin while forming a plan in my head. I'm so not gonna let Little Miss Shredder play with him let alone ending up with my Leo.

A/N: Ooooh...what do you think she's gonna do?


	5. Taking Actions

Rejected

Part Five:

Taking Actions

Raph's P.O.V

"Hey,Chaplin. Mind if I ask you something?"

I asked bluntly. Although I wasn't certain this would work but I had to try.

"Sure, Raphaella, what is it?"

"Do you...do you...love Karai?"

I stuttered out.

He gave me a horrified look and turn his back to me.

"Of course not, she is my master..."

He trailed off nervously.

Like he admitted his love to my face.

"Oh come on this is so obvious you do. I saw that disappointed look when she went with Leo."

I said, hoping to get him ask some kind of help from me.

The more desperate he was the more successful I'd be.

"So what should I do?"

Bingo.

"Well...isn't there some kind of scientific way to make someone fall in love with a certain person?"

"I'm afraid I'm not getting you..."

"Oh come on, can't you like, get to control her mind or something?"

"Now that you're saying, I think my newest invention might help-"

"Chaplin"

I cut him off.

"If I'm gonna help you then I'll need something in return."

He turned around, facing me with an odd expression. He was uncertain, I could tell.

"And what is that?"

"I'd want your invention to use it on my older brother..."

"And why would you want that?"

"Fine. Let me be straight with you. I want my older brother for my self. I want that attention he gives to Karai. I want his love."

My heart ached a little at the memory of his last encounter with me.

A part of me still wanted to hate Leo for saying those aweful things to me, but deep down I knew I could never do that.

Now he was surprised.

" You do know this is incest, right?"

"I don't care the slightest bit. So,do we have a deal?"

I held out my hand, praying to god knows who he'd say yes.

"Deal"

He shook my hand.

"First we'll go to my lab."

I followed him through the numerous rooftops, him leading me to the secret laboratory he worked in.

Everything in that building was wierd and creepy. I'm not gonna lie.

It gave me the bad vibes.

Chemistry sets, computers and big tanks were seemingly endless.

"Aha! Here it is"

He held out a bottle with red liquid in it.

"And you sure this will work?"

I was beginning to be a little hesitant of this.

What if this isn't what Leo wants?

What if what I'm doing isn't going to make him happy, so I'd be responsible for all of this?

And most importantly, what if Karai can make him more happy, more happiness than ai can ever provide him with?

How far am I willing to go, to win his heart?

"Positive. But this substance works very strangely, so pay attention: You get your brother to drink half of this bottle, and then to look at your eyes for at least 20 seconds. It would take effect after a few days."

I nodded in understanding.

"And I'll bring the rest to you If it worked."

"Right"

So I made my way back to the lair, not knowing that I was gonna be in one hell of a drama...

A/N: Oh just you wait Raph...just you wait...


	6. Mikey's Help

Rejected

Part Six:

Mikey's Help

This was so freaking hard!

There I was ,wide awake at the kitchen table wanting to find a way get Leo not to ignore me anymore.

Okay, maybe I am wanting so much but still...how am I gonna use the stupid potion if he leaves the room I'm in? It's like I don't exist to him at all.

I had no idea how hard was it gonna be, falling for someone who can never think the same about you...

The sound of footsteps snapped me out of my daze, I noticed someone approaching.

My heart fell.

It was Leo!

I gulped, he was so sleepy he didn't notice my presence. What should I do, what should I do...?

"M-morning L-leo?!"

Damn me and my stupid mouth.

He turned around, finally noticing me, eyes widening in surprise. His jaw clenched hard, along with hair less brow frowning at me.

He grabbed his mug, and left the kitchen, without even saying a simple good morning.

My eyes burned, and I just couldn't let this one go.

What did I ever do to deserve this...this...torture?

Did I ask him to be with me? No!

All I did was saying something I shouldn't, and now he's acting like I'm a criminal forced to live with him.

Stupid me and my feelings...

I should have kept my mouth shut.

I should have.

Therefore I wouldn't be in such a-

"Morning Dude!"

Mikey's energetic, happy voice made me jump a meter or so.

I looked up, her grin fell when she saw my miserable face .

"Raph you okay?"

She asked in a soft,mother-like voice.

I needed to get this out before I exploded again.

"Mikey...you promise you won't tell anyone, ever?"

Her eyes flicker when she notices my seriousness .

"Raph whatever it is it's eating you from inside out. You better get this out...so talk to me sis."

"Well it's about Leo..."

A nod was all I needed to continue.

"I told him something I should have never thought about in the first place, something so gross and disgusting he's been avoiding me like I've got a serious disease or something..."

I gulp again at the memory. I lower my voice now.

"I'm in love with him."

Then I look back at Mikey. She's not grossed out or surprised, she looks actually...comfortable with it?

What?!

"Dude you're not the only one here who's got trouble in paradaise... I'm the same with Donnie..."

Like a wind slapping my face I looked at my innocent little sister, wondering what to tell her.

"Have you told him yet?"

"No, I mean I would have if he wasn't busy with April everyday..."

Oh I feel you Mikey...

"Can you do me a favor?"

Since when did I become so polite?

"Anything."

"I kinda need you to get Leo drink this red drink...and to look at me for like 30 seconds..."

"It's tough but, I'll think out a way."

And then she smiled encouragingly.

"I don't like to see you sad Raph, you're my only big sis,and the best..."

I couldn't help but return it:

"You too Mikey"

And I spent the rest of the day, waiting impatiently.

Ducking behind the couch I tried to calm myself down.

One mistake and the next thing I see is Leo falling for a cartoon character.

As funny as it would be it'll be real.

Gulp.

"Hey Leo guess what?" Mikey beamed oh so happily.

"Yes Mikey?"

Leo answered almost instantly.

"I made you cherry tea! Try it!"

Leo got the cup filled with the red substance, eyeing it carefully.

"Come on I made it just for you!"

Leave it to Mikey to be encouraging.

Then in a matter of seconds he drank it and Mikey signaled me to come out.

My hands were shaking badly as I came in front my older brother, staring deep into those black pearls.

His eyes turned blank and emotionless, and after exactly thirty seconds his head fell, closing eyes and slipping into a slumber.

Did it work?

A part of me just wanted to believe it happened and the other, just !wanted to give up.

Only time will tell...

A/N: I'm back! Woohoo! And I'll be updating a lot sooner!

Also, Chaplin is one of Shredders scientists in the 2003 versions. He has a big crush on Karai...

Anyway...Reviews make me so happy! Don't forget that! ^_^


	7. Taking Effects

Rejected:  
Part Seven  
Taking effects

Raph's P.O.V:

I yawned and stretched my arms when I felt morning light warming my face.  
Another day just started and I'm absolutely in no mood for a grumpy, cold Leo.  
Talk about luck.

What did Chaplin say? It would take a while to take effects?...  
... Think I'm losing both my hope and patience.  
It's been five days and I haven't been able to make conversation with Leo. Not even a simple: 'Good Morning'

I've thought of ways to deal with this, the first option would be Master Splinter.  
Definitely not.  
If Leo's reaction was worse, Sensei's would probably be disownment.  
And the only option left is waiting.  
Yeah, all I have left now is time.

I made my way to the kitchen...

-

Leo was already there.  
I took a deep breath as I prepared myself for another round of silent- treatment, angry glares and disgusted looks.  
Even the thought of it made me want to go back to my room and hide there, sobbing out my misery.  
No; I can't avoid him forever.  
The least I can get is forgiveness...

"Morning Raph! Slept well?"  
I was taken back by Leo's cheerful voice.  
Well that, and the fact that Leo just talked to me!  
Plus he is smiling wider and wider...It's creeping me out...

"Are you feeling okay?"  
My voice came out rushed, and truth to be told I was ready to faint...  
"Of course I'm fine Raph! Why shouldn't I be?"  
Despite my out of the blue question his smile didn't drop.  
Weird.  
Maybe he's just feeling good.

A few minutes later the rest of our family came and joined us for breakfast.  
Everything felt so normal.

"So my son" Sensei started "Is Miss Karai coming over today?"  
Leo just nodded.  
The mixture of Leo's actions and Sensei's statement hit me like an anvil.

Fucking little Miss Shredder.

And no matter how happy I was that he actually talked to me I couldn't help the knot that formed in my stomach.

-

"I think that's enough for today. We can plan out the rest tomorrow,"  
Karai finished.  
I mentally sighed in relief, she was gone for today.  
" Or maybe you can come over to our headquarters now? We could work with no disturbance"  
She glanced at me.  
What?!

Did she just accuse me of being annoying?!  
I balled my fists angrily! How dare you, you piece of worthless-  
"Tomorrow's fine,I've got some things to do for now"  
Leo's stern voice made the fire of my anger burn out.  
God, I wonder if this is jealousy?

Karai winced.  
Ha! Take that!  
With no other word she left, clearly shocked.  
The content feeling was too pleasureable for my own good.

"So Raph" he smiled "Wanna watch a movie?"  
I nodded before he could take that back.  
Maybe going back to normal wouldn't be that hard after all...

We started watching Twilight, though I wondered why did he choose that, none of us likes those cheek flicks...

Halfway through the movie we were both falling asleep, until I felt something on my hand.  
I moved my head only to see Leo's hand on mine... He's probably not feeling well...  
That I couldn't help my blush, though.

My eyes felt warm as sleep finally claimed me, something I stopped having a decent amount after I got rejected...

A/N: Was it too rushed?Too slow? Tell me! I never get tired of reading your comments! I love them! ^_^ 


	8. Of Dreams and Reality

Rejected

Part Eight:

Of Dreams and Reality

Raphael's P.O.V:

I smiled as I studied the cute little pink bandana in my hand, perfect for a little turtle's head. The thought alone made me shiver with delight.

Then looking at the baby bed Donnie made me I grinned wider, I loved it. It seemed so...precious.

Jumping a little when I heard a creak coming from the door, I smiled whole-heartedly at Leo. The only person I'd come to love so much...

"Love?"

"H-hey Leo!"

"You're making gifts for our unborn child?"

"Yes...well I just thought..."

"Hmm?"

"That she could be a ninja like us when she grows up...and you could be her sensei..."

His face softened as he heard that, I'm sure he'd be the perfect teacher for the new upcoming ninja. Just like he is in everything.

"Raph I still have a lot to learn, you know I'm not perfect, I'm certain Sensei would be a better choice."

"You're perfect already, you just have to believe in yourself." I replied with enthusiasm in my voice.

"Now aren't you my beloved..." He closer, whispering, as I started to feel my face hot. Putting his forehead against mine he gave me a loving kiss...

"Mmmf!" I moaned as I woke up, finding myself alone in my swinging bed .

That was just a dream.

Just that.

Imaginary, made up, unreal.

It's been a week and still, while no effect is coming from the damn 'potion' I still find myself wondering:

'Who am I kidding?'

This is no fairytale, it's not like something as stupid as 'love potion'

is going fix my messed up love life, now is it?

Ugh! What was I thinking what's wrong with me, being so hopeful about this...this...childish act?!

I'll just have to accept it and move on.

Freakish, horrifying mutant beasts weren't meant to exist anyway...

Yet in those illusion of my dreams I find happiness, peace, bliss...and as sadistic as it sounds...

...I prefer it over the harsh reality I have to go through.

The kiss I dreamt of was the most bizarre thing ever! I can still feel it...wait no I'm imagining things. I can't possibly feel it, right? My mind is playing tricks on me.

...then why did it feel so real..?


	9. Out of Control

A/N: First off, I'm really, really sorry for the long absence. I had no time to write, plus the pile of homeworks seemed to increased daily. Anyway, this is chapter 9, edited and rewrited because I wasn't happy about it in the beginning. Enjoy!

Rejected

Part Nine:

Out of Control

Leo's P.O.V:

For the hundredth time that week I felt dizzy and stumbled by my steps to the kitchen for a glass of water. I couldn't sleep at all.

In the past days I had been feeling quite...off, actually. Like the kind of feeling when you've forgotten something and you want to remember so badly. As if a part of you has gone missing.

Everything was normal yet...out of place. I had forgiven Raph yet there was nothing to forgive at all. It wasn't her choice, was it? It wasn't her fault she felt that way, was it?...

For the first time in years, I felt my whole opinion...changed. And the more I thought about my behavior, the guiltier I felt.

But there was something off...

Why did I feel the need to make up for the way I acted?

These questions had been distracting me each and every day, not letting me focus on my daily routine.

I walked up to the hallways were our rooms were located.

All of a sudden, I found myself walking to my hotheaded sister's room.

I watched her calm, peaceful face devoid of any signs of anger. She looked a lot better this way.

Before I could gain control of my body , I went to her hammock, and...

...kissed her.

My headache strengthened and everything around me started to spin.

Stumbling by my steps, I barely reached my room...

...what did I do..?!

I woke up the next day, still feeling drowsy and confused from last night.

If she found out, if anybody found out, there's no telling what would happen.

Splinter will be angered.

Donnie would be shocked.

Mikey would be disgusted.

And Raph would be...happy?!

The last one had me panicking instantly. I would never want to mess with something as delicate as her feelings.

'As if you already haven't'

The traitorous voice inside my head spoke, making me annoyed .

'Like it wasn't bad enough already, now you made it worse.'

Desperately trying to block it out, I attended morning training. I suppose, it was the same old thing. Mikey and Donnie were out in the matter of seconds, and me and Raphaella were remaining.

Throwing a hard, powerful kick, I threw her to the ground. She was obviously taken over by the element of surprise, because she didn't get up soon enough.

Taking the chance, I wanted to go near, point my sword beside her head and let the match finish...but...

...I didn't.

Completely taken over by my emotions, I landed myself on top of her, not doing anything.

I just stared into her green eyes, studying them closely. And then, I had the sudden urge pin her hands behind and-

Wait, what?!

As soon as I took a grip of reality, I got up, both shocked and embarrassed about what I did.

I looked around, all of my family were staring at me.

I could literally feel their disappointment and crude thoughts, so I did what only a coward would do.

I ran.

I ran away to the rooftop, and didn't stop until I reached the furthest rooftop.

What did I do.


	10. Forbidden Fruit

Rejected

Part Ten:

Forbidden Fruit

Ralph's P.O.V

Leo ran away.

No , let me rephrase that.

Leo made a move on me , then ran away.

I stared into the space , too fazed and dumbfounded to function. All of my senses seemed to shut down, and I could only think...

...can it be ?

Can my foolish, desperate wish come true?

That for once in my life, I'd get a taste of that forbidden fruit I've craved all along ..? To feel wanted, at peace and ...loved?

Could it be that all unfairness and injustice towards me are being made up by something so...so...

...beautiful?

To get out of daydreams and fantasies to feel the real world's offering?

It seems too much like a hallucination, too good to be true.

And yet, I'm certain I'm awake...

So I go after him.

To find the truth behind his actions, the thoughts behind his exterior and...

...the feelings behind his mask.

To convince the unsure, unfortunate part of me to believe...happiness.

It's raining on the topside. When I find him, I take notice of his crestfallen expression, almost like he's trying to protect something...

...his heart?

His head turns around almost immediately, the look of fear and worry etched on his face like a landscape.

"Why...why..." My voice dies in my throat, there's just so many questions I want to know the answer to...

Why not me?

Why Karai?

Why can't I be good enough...for you and your honor to accept..?

But he only seems to think about one , particular one...

"Why did I try to ...do that?" His voice almost sounds cracked and tired, just like himself.

I nod.

He stares for a moment, looking desperate .

Desperate? For...acceptance maybe?

"I...I'm so s-sorry Raphie, I w-won't embarrass you anymore ..." He says in a barely audible voice.

I can literally feel my stomach drop down in disappointment , as if a bucket of cold water has just been poured on me.

All those feelings of joy and hope die down in a blink, and I'm back to my miserable self.

Sigh...

Wait.

Did he say...Raphie?!

I turn back around to watch his expression. His cheeks are decorated in deep red blush, he gulps nervously when our eyes meet.

What if...what if...

I walk closer to him, pushing away all insecurities and fears aside.

I won't allow myself to drown in the ocean of thoughts anymore.

Instantly, he backs away, eyes widened unnaturally . He looks nervous, but enjoying it too.

I decide to test my theory.

I pull my face to his, way closer than intended. I can feel his hot breath brushing my face.

"Leo..." He grows even more confused "Are you feeling alright...?

"I-I'm f-fine..."

"Really? But I see bags under your eyes...did you not sleep well because of me ?"

"What are you-"

"The last time you were a little drunk, don't you remember what happened~"

I slyly brush his cheek , very slowly with back of my hand, giving him the softest look I can muster up.

He grows flustered easily , gulping a heavy lump in his throat while moving his face in the direction I touched him . His eyes grow soft and dreamy, it almost looks like he's melting...

Oh my god...

My dream, my wish ...

...I might just have it.

The happy feeling is growing and burning in my stomach, slowly erupting into fluttering butterflies .

I can't even remember the last time I smiled so wide...

Leo, the epitome of perfection and my hero, might just start to feel the same for me.

But I must control myself. I must make use of this ... miracle.

"Come on, let's go home. You don't want to catch a cold, do you?"

I say and run forward.

I know he's coming after me, and that alone makes my blood sing in euphoria.

Leo...

I can only hope that we wouldn't be banished from heaven...but wherever I'll be, with you,

It's paradise.

A/N: Finally! I'm happy to be back, inspired, and motivated.

Raph is so going on the joyride from now on...Hehe!

Any ways, comment! And if you have any suggestions I'll be happy to hear!

Melikameli , out :)


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